Children and our own responsiblities

I was dining with a young couple and their brother tonight. The father sat next to me, but kept a constant eye on his baby. The baby sat in a high chair, with her mother and uncle on each side. Her uncle was telling stories to her, and the mother was look after her. The baby was well cared for and safe in her chair. Then why is this man keep looking at his baby while not talking to others at the table?

I was quite puzzled. Then I realize it is much easier to get obsessed with a baby, while much more difficult to struck a conversation with a stranger. What a perfect excuse to hide in a safe place.

Raising a baby has its fun and glory. But if you get so obsessed with this baby, looking at her every move and ignoring your own adult world, it is an abjection of your responsibility. It’s an act of escape. Babies are just humans. They need care but they will grow up. Indulging a baby reflects a person’s own insecurity and unhappiness in his own life.

There is no escape in this world, not even with our own baby. We have to face our own responsibility and fulfill them. There is no way around it. I once thought by having a baby and giving him/her all my dream and wishes, I can fulfill my destiny. Now I realize this is abjection of my own duty. I have to fulfill my own destiny. It’s my responsibility.

The Love from my sisters

Yesterday it was Chinese New Year’s eve. I talked to my two sisters over skype. Seeing them in webcam makes me realize a deep sense of love. While we are thousands miles away from each other, I can feel their deep love for me and my love for them. I was awed by such deep connection. It is as if time never flied away, and we were still together in our grandma’s house singing and chatting. It is as if we were still gathering in our mother’s place, laughing and talking. How much I love them and how much I miss them.

My younger sister held her 7-month old baby in her lap, her 5-year-old son sits on the other side, while she talked to me. In my mind, she was still that giggling teenager, with cute short hair and summer skirt. Today she is a mother of 2, and starting her new life in Canada. My eldest sister sat in her small study, with Chinese calligraphy on the wall behind her, looking happy and relaxed. But I know she is constantly thinking about her design project, which are tough in her architecture program. Tonight she put that aside, talking about clothing, dating and social life, all girly stuff. It made me happy to connect with her this way. In her punishing study schedule, to be able to talk about such things is a luxury. In my striving life, where goals and ambitions are constantly on my mind, to be able to be a normal woman brings me back to earth.

One Person’s life and family

In his first book, Dreams from My Father, Barrack Obama talked about his youth and growing-up experience, his mother’s white family from Kansas, and his father’s Kenya family. While typical memoire can be boring to readers, this memoire weaves so many good stories together, that it is a lot of fun to read and listen to. The conversation, the depiction are so palpable.